I’m waiting. I’ve been waiting for four days for this particular headache to go away. I’ve been waiting for three years for them to get well enough for me to work. I’ve been waiting for six or more (I’ve quit counting) years for the headaches to go away.
You’d think by now I’d have learned some patience. Sigh. Not really.
“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14
“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.” Psalm 130:5
“but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
“Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!” Isaiah 30:18
I’m learning to wait. But, not wait as in just sit and be bored kind of waiting. For one thing, that just allows me to focus on my pain which is very unhealthy. No, I’m finally seeing that “waiting” on God is just as much “doing” as the ministry I wish I could do.
Waiting is praying without ceasing – and the more I pray, the more I realize I must pray. I have started to pray for our church, the missionaries we support, the missionaries I read about on the computer, and whatever I can think of.
Waiting is learning about Jesus. I read a lot when I feel bad. I’m learning to read my Bible during that time, even if I’m not “studying”. I always put off Bible reading because I wanted to be able to focus, but I’m seeing that it’s OK to just read and absorb.
Waiting is just being still. It’s hard for me to be still. I went from high school to 12 years of higher education to 10 years of working as a physician. There was rarely a quiet and still moment. There’s still not much quiet with two kids and a husband around and I like to be doing something. But, when I can’t sleep because my head aches too badly and I can’t knit anymore, God is there and wants me to be there with Him.
So, I wait. And He is there. Not according to my expectations, but His. And since he has the perspective of eternity, I have to trust He knows what He is up to.