Upstairs in a closet is my yarn stash. Among the neat balls of yarn are a couple of tangled masses of multiple colors and textures of yarn. A couple of times, I’ve started to try to unravel the mess, but I didn’t have the motivation or patience to finish.
I woke up this morning with a migraine. And the emotions that go along with the migraine are just like that knot of yarn. My sessions with my counselor are my attempts to unsnarl the mess that gets into my head.
What are the feelings that make up this tangle?
- Pain – mostly physical, but also the emotional pain that the migraine is going to affect the rest of the family for the next 12 to 36 hours.
- Guilt 1 – Why do I feel guilty? I have no idea. But, I have this vague guilt feeling that if I did something different or lived a better life I wouldn’t have the migraine.
- Guilt 2 – I also feel guilty that I won’t be able to do the things with my kids that I normally do. I’ll have Wild Man do more schoolwork on his own and I won’t read to him today.
- Sadness – I feel like I’m missing life, like things are happening that I don’t get to participate in because of the migraines.
- Frustration – I have so much that I’d like to do that I can’t do when I have a migraine and it’s frustrating.
- Anger – Sometimes I just get mad at God. This isn’t how I planned for my life to be.
- Irritable – When I have a migraine, I don’t want to talk to people. This makes homeschooling hard, as you might can imagine!
No matter the web of feelings that’s in my head, I try to always remember that the thing that never changes is Truth. Truth, as in God’s Truth. When I’m in pain and this snarl of feelings seems overwhelming, I need to set aside those emotions for a while and focus on God’s truth – through music or Scripture reading.
- But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31
- Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-23
- Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6
- For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
- Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. James 1:2
Today I’ve set aside my tangled set of emotions and am just resting in God’s love and praying for quick pain relief. And as these negative emotions rise up to the surface again, I remind myself of God’s Truth. Don’t worry, I’ll deal with the emotions. They’re only set aside temporarily while I’m in too much pain to think about them. And when I’m feeling better, God and I will have some one-on-one time to untangle that mess of emotions.
How do you deal with your emotions? Do you have tangles and webs to work through? How do you handle emotions in a Godly way?