I'm warning you now that this post is not going to end on a happy note. You can stop reading now if you want. This post is about chronic migraine and things that often aren't happy. I like my blog to be a positive place, so I usually end my posts with something upbeat, but that's not the reality of life. And, pasting a smile on my blog is no more honest than pasting a smile on my face on days like today. I'd rather be real about the struggle of having chronic migraine.
Are you still with me? At least I know my husband is still reading! Well, I hope I didn't drive everyone away.
Chronic migraine sucks. Not like a fatal illness where I know my life is going to be shortened by the illness. But, because my quality of life is markedly reduced. I've done things to improve my life - mostly I changed my attitude. Nothing, though, can bring back the ten years of lost work or cure the migraines so that I can go back to work right now.
My headaches have gotten worse than usual over the last couple of months. I'm going to talk to my neurologist about changing my treatment. This is kind of risky because every treatment has the potential for side effects. So, do we try Lyrica, which I have been on before and works some, but gives me weight gain, sedation, and swollen ankles, or Zonegran, which I was only on for a few weeks because the sedation was so terrible and I was working at the time? I hope he has some better ideas than those.
During the last two weeks, I've only had two days that were low-pain enough to allow me to walk for a significant amount on the treadmill - a mile each time. And each time, my headache got worse after exercising. Tell me that's not unfair! Exercise to get healthy, but you get worsening migraine after you exercise!!
I've also developed pain deep in my ear and above my ear (on the right temporal area). And I'm getting shooting pain in my right maxillary area. I don't have any sinus symptoms and my doctor checked my ears, so I'm pretty sure this is migraine related. More fun!
Part of me feels like I'm complaining and I should just delete this entire post. I should be positive! Who wants to listen to a complainer? What good is it to be negative?
For one thing, it allows me to vent all these emotions! It also helps my friends to get a little bit of understanding what my life is like. And, if any other chronic migraineurs read my blog, they can be encouraged that they aren't alone.
I'm not going to end this with one of my "but, it's really going to all be OK". Life is hard. Yes, my faith is what keeps me going. But, I'm tired of having headaches and nausea and all the other stuff along with it. That's it.