Tuesday, April 19, 2016

So Tired . . .

I'm soooooo tired. I spent four years in medical school, so I thought that I knew what tired was. I mean, I would go days on not nearly enough sleep doing admissions and working in clinic.

But, I didn't really learn the meaning of fatigue until I developed chronic migraine and fibromyalgia.

The fibro came first with the poor sleep and diffuse body aches. What's crazy is that I was diagnosed at a time when I had a gym membership and was exercising regularly. A medication to help me sleep gave me significant relief.

Unfortunately, the migraines started escalating soon afterward. Once the migraines became chronic and I started having daily headaches, the fatigue kicked back in with a vengeance. I didn't know a person could be so tired without being sleepy.

Right now the fatigue is particularly bad because I've had a busy week. I've been cranking up the distance and speed that I walk to 1-2 miles at about 20 minutes/mile. I also re-caulked the bathroom (a whole 'nuther story but suffice it to say that there's mold and we're getting a new bathroom soon!) along with doing lots of house cleaning. Parts of my body hurt that I forgot even existed!

Now it's time to rest. I have a migraine today, which makes it a resting day anyway, but I had already planned for today to be a rest day. My achy body (from all the working which has flared my fibro) is telling me it needs a break. I did walk to the library to stretch my legs, but it's only about 1/3 of a mile.

God made us to rest. In the creation story, God rested on the seventh day and then He gave the people of Israel a commandment that they were to rest of the seventh day of the week. Even when we're completely healthy, we need some down time. And that's OK.

For those of us with chronic illness, rest is a necessity. And I'm working very hard not to feel guilty about it. It's perfectly fine to give my body what it needs. Today, it's to sit down and write and look at knitting patterns and read. I can pray and meditate and let God speak to my soul. I can listen in ways that I can't when I'm spackling the bathroom wall. And I can just be quiet.

What do you do when you just need to rest? How do you hear God? Do you prefer silicon or acrylic caulk ('cause I'm such an expert now)?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Totally in the same place. I told the fam today is a rest day, I am doing as little as possible. Weird how those of us with chronic illness are often ill at the same time, isn't it? I blame industry. Or, maybe the stars. Or the moon!

Bleh. Hope tomorrow is a better day for both of us!