Structure and Schooling

So, how much structure should our "school" have? I'm not the only one asking that question based on the topics on some of the homeschooling forums. The range of possibility is huge - from unschooling to having every 15 minutes planned out. What is the right amount of structure for us? That's what I'm trying to sort out.

Unschooling is appealing to me because it allows kids to be creative and research and learn what interests them at the moment. Unschooling is basically allowing a child to study whatever they feel like today. There is usually very little direction given by the parents. But, it is very parent-intensive. In unschooling, the parent works to help the child learn what they want. The parent and child(ren) go to the library, search the Internet, go on field trips, etc. Younger children require more help than older ones.

There are definite downsides to unschooling. While the working of parent and child together provides great opportunity for bonding, it also means that this is a labor-intensive way of schooling for the parent. You can't just give a kid a workbook and tell them to go work. This is an issue for me because of my headaches. I can't be there with them to research things, etc.

I also don't agree with the entire premise that children instinctively know what is best for them. Many unschoolers take this premise to (what seems to me) an unacceptable end and they engage in "unparenting". On one of the unschooling forums parents were discussing how to help a four year old decide whether or not to go to school ("I want it to be her choice") and how to handle the fact that other people (who are from authoritarian families) think that their children are disrespectful because they yell at their parents and demand their own way. Clearly, kids need parents for discipline, direction, etc. This is true in spiritual development and character development but also in school. I'm pretty sure that my kids will manage to convince themselves that they never need to learn to write properly if no one requires it of them. I believe that God intends for us to direct our children's education as well as their moral, spiritual, physical, and emotional growth. As they get older, the parents should naturally back off and have them make more of their decisions. But, I think that parents must be somewhat directive if we are to be good parents.

Then there is the other side of the coin: the parent who schedules the day in 15 minute increments and rarely varies from it. There was a time when this would have been my preferred way of doing everything. When I was in college, I would make color-coded schedules down to the half-hour - and stick with it. Not any more. First of all, life is too unpredictable to make such a detailed schedule. The kids' chores may take longer today than usual if they're not feeling well or if the trash can was unusually heavy, etc. The child may not understand a math concept and need more time right then (not later in the day). But, a big reason that detailed scheduling doesn't work well for us is my headaches (big shock). 1-3 days of our week are significantly limited because of my headaches. Wild Man doesn't yet read independently, so I can't just send him off to do schoolwork by himself (except for a couple of workbooks and some computer programs). Working around my headaches doesn't seem to have gotten much easier, despite our experience.

Here is my current plan (as of this minute in time): scheduled work for three days of the week and "unschooling" for two days. On Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday, we will work on a list of schoolwork for each day. Some of the work is independent, but two days we work together on history (and other social sciences) and one day we work on science. The other two days will be workbook work (math and language arts) and computer work (Spanish and typing) along with "unschooling". Our definition of unschooling is that the kids will do educational work that Mom has not scheduled. If I have a headache, the kids do work that doesn't require my help (watch educational DVDs, computer programming, educational software, read a book, do an art project, etc.). If I'm feeling OK, then we may do something together (that they suggest) or I might just sit and read for a few hours.

Here's what the week might look like:
Monday - PE in the am, unschooling after lunch, dance in the late afternoon.
Tuesday - assigned schoolwork until mid-afternoon, when I take Ga'Hoole Girl to a friends' to go to dance class, Wild Man and I go grocery shopping, then Wild Man and I go to the dance studio for my dance class.
Wednesday - assigned schoolwork
Thursday - Women's Bible Study in am, Wild Man's reading lesson in early afternoon, unschooling the rest of the time.
Friday- assigned schoolwork

I'm also trying to figure out how to organize my work for the week. I'm still rather frustrated by the fact that things get completely out of whack when I have a headache. But, I think I'm going to set up a schedule and work around it when I don't feel well.

Monday - desk (bills, organize papers, etc.)
Tuesday - bake bread, clean living room, grocery shopping
Wednesday - laundry, mop
Thursday - clean living room (again)
Friday - clean bathtub

We'll have to see how this works out. Hopefully, I can find a balance that gives us enough structure to get done the basics and enough flexibility to have fun!