Our Wisconsin Full Family Vacation of 2010

We just finished our mini-family reunion of 2010.  This time, instead of the four of us driving down South in blistering heat, the family came up here.  And, thankfully, the weather (mostly) cooperated so  being outside was really a fun thing.

We rented a lake house about 30 minutes from our house.  The lake house sleeps 10 people easily and has a game room in the basement along with the usual living room, dining area, kitchen, and 4 bedrooms.  PWM and I  and Rosie Girl got the big room upstairs because the toilet up there doesn’t work right now.  Sadly, Grams (my mom) and Grandpa (my dad) needed to sleep downstairs so PWM and I got the king sized bed upstairs while Rosie Girl had a mattress that we took from another bed.  Not that I’m complaining about the king sized bed, mind you!

 

While we were there, we had plenty of time to play around the lake despite all the outings we had planned.  There were a paddleboat and a canoe for our use, along with the dock for fishing.  Wild Man did a good bit of fishing and caught several very small fish.  He had one bigger one, but the line broke, to Wild Man’s great distress.

 

There were some glitches, though.  When the family arrived, Grandpa already had a pretty bad cold, so he and Grams skipped church on Sunday morning.  I had a headache the entire week, so I missed a few outings.  Grams developed the cold on Tuesday and was pretty much in bed for Tuesday through Thursday.  CC (my brother), KC (his wife), PWM, and all the kids, though, stayed nice and healthy.

Monday morning was the hike at Skunk Lake.  Grandpa, Rosie Girl, and I didn’t go hiking, but ran errands instead.  The rest of the group loved the hiking trail because it’s beautiful and has lots of ridges and moraines (which is a little valley with lots of big rocks left by a retreating glacier – learn something new every day!).  And the weather was perfect – in the 70s!

Wednesday morning was cheese morning!!  We all (except Grams) went to Union Star Cheese Factory in Zittau and got a tour.  J (CC and KC’s 3 year old son) wasn’t quite as thrilled with the tour since it was mostly standing around and listening, so he and I played outside in the grass for a while.  All the kids got cheesemaker hats and we, of course, bought plenty of cheese and cheese curds!

That evening, we decided to have dinner at the Wheelhouse and then dessert at Scoopers – a plan everyone approved of.  (Although, Grams and Grandpa didn’t make it because Grams was still feeling pretty rotten.)  Wild Man tried to teach E (his 8 year old cousin) to cross his eyes.  I’m sure KC will thank me for that one day!

On Wednesday, everyone except me and Grams went to the EAA Museum and Pioneer Airport.  (But, Grams and I have both seen the EAA Museum before, so it was a minor loss.)  Wild Man and E both got to have their Young Eagles flights on this trip.  I’m not sure it was quite as big a deal for E because CC is a licensed pilot and takes E out in his flying club’s plane on occasion.  Rosie Girl did a great job of taking care of J  when he fell asleep in the middle of the afternoon!

Circus World in Baraboo was our activity for Thursday for everyone but Grams who was still feeling sick.  My favorite part was seeing the museum, old costumes, and old interesting musical instruments.  The kids rode on elephants.  We saw a great magic show and a very cool tiger show.  Unfortunately, it was really hot and I got a migraine, so PWM, Rosie Girl, and I left early.  The rest of the group got to see the Bigtop show – apparently, it was quite good.  Grandpa, it appears, splurged for some clown get-up for Wild Man and E.

Thursday night, we made a fire in the fire pit, which the little kids loved.  Unfortunately, we didn’t have the makings for S’mores.  The excitement of the evening was that Rosie Girl fell down the bottom two stairs of the deck and twisted her ankle pretty badly.

 

Every night, PWM read to us from the first Harry Potter book.  We had thought about bringing Artemis Fowl, because we love those books, but Artemis is still mostly a villain in the first book, which might not be great reading for the 8 year old!  In any case, E had already read the first chapter of Harry Potter, so this might entice him to finish the book at home because we only got about halfway through.

On Friday morning, everyone but PWM, me, Wild Man, and Rosie Girl went to the Paper Discovery Center.  They made paper as well as making things out of paper – like air rockets.  My kids had been before, so they weren’t terribly interested.  Besides, I took Rosie Girl to the clinic in the early afternoon for an X-Ray of her ankle.  Thankfully, nothing was broken, but we did get an air cast to help splint it.

Rosie Girl and I said our goodbyes on Friday afternoon and then came home.  We were quite the pair – Rosie Girl with her foot up and ice on it and me with an icepack on my head!  Nonetheless, the rest of the family was up and out before 10am on Saturday!

Overall, we had a blast!  I really wish that no one had been sick all week, but this stuff happens, so we make the best of it.  I am pretty glad to be home right now.  Everything’s a mess since we just put the bags in the middle of the living room.  I’ll clean when my headache finally calms down.  In the meantime, I’ve still got school planning to do!

Nehemiah 1:1–2:8

(Housekeeping note:  Vacation post and pictures will be coming very soon.  I’m just too tired tonight.)

Our pastor is currently teaching about Nehemiah.  I don’t always get to the church service, so I’ve been reading the book of Nehemiah as well as some other Bible study books.  Tonight I’ll share my observations on Nehemiah 1:1-2:8  (You probably want to read the passage first – the link takes you to this passage at Bible Gateway.)

1. Nehemiah seems to have had a pretty stable career in Susa.  He identified himself as a Jew, but worked in the royal palace (1:11b “I was cupbearer to the king”).  Being a cupbearer seems like a pretty menial job, but it was apparently pretty high up in the royal hierarchy because he was with the king quite a bit of the time.  Yet, when his brother brought news of how bad things were in Jerusalem, Nehemiah was ready to give up his career to go do something about it.

2. Nehemiah started with weeping, fasting, and prayer.  I think some of these Old Testament guys are really important in teaching us the importance of prayer (think of Daniel).  Nehemiah doesn’t consider that he could make any move without God’s blessing.

3. The prayer – Apparently, (according to one of the commentaries) this prayer is a formal prayer that gives some insight into the “postexilic” practice of prayer.  Nehemiah starts by telling God how good He is.  Of course, God knows this, so Nehemiah is, essentially, reminding himself of God’s goodness.  He confesses the sins of the Israelites – no trying to hide or suggest that God made a mistake in sending them in to exile.  But, then, Nehemiah goes back to reminding God again of the promise that God made to Moses, that God would gather the exiles if they would again return to the worship of the true God.  At the end, Nehemiah asks God for his help and success.

4. Nehemiah was a planner.  Yippee!!  I love this part – validation of my planning  needs!!  Nehemiah waited several months before he asked the king to go to Jerusalem to rebuild the walls.  When the king asked what Nehemiah wanted, Nehemiah had a list – a list!!  This is my kind of guy.  God had given him the burden to go repair the walls of the Jerusalem, but also expected Nehemiah to use the brain he was given to make it happen.

5. Who was the queen and why was she there?  Apparently (again, I’m getting this from commentaries and some internet resources), Persian kings generally ate without their wives, except for private dinners.  So, it’s either a private dinner or some special occasion that the queen is even allowed to be there.  One source (Ray Stedman) says that this would be Queen Esther.  However, other sources say that the king at this time was the step-son of Queen Esther.  In any case, it is entirely likely that Queen Esther’s time in the Persian palace could have helped to make her husband or step-son predisposed to be good to the Jews.  So, was it Esther or not?  It appears that the answer is “maybe”.

6. Lessons to be learned here – The thing that I have really gleaned from this section of Nehemiah is his reliance on prayer.  He has no doubt that God is listening.  The importance of confession was also helpful for me.  As I get older, I realize more and more what a sinful creature I am – and become more and more grateful for grace.  Confession is like cleansing the soul.  The sin has already been paid for by Jesus, but admitting my failure to God allows to start accepting yet more of his gracious forgiveness.  (Granted, in Old Testament times, they were still living under the sacrificial system, but yet understood the need to confess their sins and ask God for forgiveness – See Psalm 51.)

What do you thing about this passage in Nehemiah?  Any new thoughts or insights?

I hope to continue this over the next week or two and at least get caught up to where our pastor is teaching.

Lots of Links

 

We’re going over the vacation house in a little bit and I’m excused from the hard work because I still have this darn migraine.  But, I figured I would share with you some interesting links I’ve come across recently.

Yet more support for homeschooling – teens are taking a long time to grow up because we have such low expectations.

The importance of both law and relationship.

More about pain and suffering.

More wisdom from Jared Wilson.

Constituencies in the science/religion debate.

Long live the Queen!

Have fun!!

Guilt and Control

I have a migraine tonight (are you surprised?) and I’m feeling guilty.  Why am I feeling guilty?  There’s no evidence that I did anything to cause the migraine.  I’ve tried every reasonable (and some not-so-reasonable) migraine treatment I can find.  Yet, I feel guilty.

I think it’s because I’m a (recovering) control freak (as I might have mentioned).  (PWM said my control issues are improving.  He and I hung up pictures in our bedroom and I did not need to control every bit of the process.  And it looks great!)  See, when you’re a control freak, you work to make sure that everything works out correctly.  Even things that other people are doing.  So, when something doesn’t work, it must be your fault.  So, every time I have a headache, I go right back to thinking that it must somehow be my fault because, if I was controlling everything properly, I wouldn’t have a headache.

Reading this on the screen, it’s obvious how faulty this thinking is.  Can I really control everything?  Of course not!  In fact, my biggest migraine trigger (and the one that’s likely giving me trouble right now) is the weather.  How in the world can I control the weather?

Being a control freak is the antithesis of trusting God.  It’s saying to God, essentially, “I don’t think you’ve really got a handle on things, so I’m going to help you out.”  I’m not sure that God’s really hip on that idea.  Let’s face it, He created everything that exists, and he cares about everything, even the sparrow that falls to the ground. (Matthew 10:29-31)

Nothing happens outside of God’s control.  Even my migraines are under His control.  So, while it’s still a good thing for me to try treatments that come along, it’s even more important for me to be able to understand that I probably can’t fix every problem in my life or anyone else’s.

When I give up that control, I also get to give up the guilt.  I can accept God’s gift of taking care of me.  Paul reminds us in Philippians 4 of the promise of God’s peace.  And in Colossians, we are again told how God not only saved us, but is growing us in His kingdom.  Who am I compared to God?  When God is in control, why do I need to try to manage every little nitpicky thing.  I can trust that God knows my circumstances and that His plan is being worked out day by day.

Dear God, I once again give you these migraines and give you all of my life.  Please show me every minute what You want me to do and help me to leave the rest to You.

7 Quick Takes Friday – August 13, 2010

 

 

1. My family is coming for a week-long visit tomorrow!!  We’ve rented a house on a lake nearby so we don’t have to try to cram 10 people into our little house.  Of course, I anticipate that we’ll end up here for at least a little while, so I’ve tried to get things pretty clean.

2. I feel like I have a new bedroom!  I got the new comforter set a couple of weeks ago.  Today, PWM and I hung up several prints that used to live in the foyer of our previous house as well as changed the spots of a couple of pieces of furniture.  I’m really happy with how it looks.

3. It’s been hot as Hades around here lately.  The high tomorrow is supposed to be 90 – in Wisconsin!!  Thankfully, there is a cold front coming through tomorrow.  Of course, I’m praying that the cold front doesn’t cause a migraine because who wants a migraine when company’s coming?!

4. I have all my kids’ school supplies (except Rosie Girl’s chemistry set), but I have done very little to actually organize it.  But, the kids did clean their desks.  I’m sure we’ll have some kind of game plan by August 30.

5. Wild Man was reminding me of how I’m going to love this vacation because I’m going to sit around and do nothing.  Right!  We’re going to EAA, a cheese factory, the Circus Museum, the Crane Foundation, and at least one day of hiking.  Where is this sitting around and doing nothing?

6. I learned to knit using the sliding-loop technique.  Sadly, the sock I made using it would fit a doll.  Well, I’ll use the technique again one of these days.

7. I really like Top Chef and other cooking competition shows, but I’ve decided that the main thing my kids can learn from Top Chef is how not to treat other people!  What a difference from The Next Food Network Star.

Check our Betty Beguiles (just for this week) to see what others have been up to this week!

 

P.S. Blogging will be light this week because I won’t have internet access at the rental house.  If I do blogging when I’m there, it may get all posted at once at the end of the week!

Confession

Psalm 32:1-5

Oh, what joy for those whose rebellion is forgiven, whose sine is put out of sight!

Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin, whose lives are lived in complete honesty!

When I refused to confess my sin, I was weak and miserable, and I groaned all day long.

Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me.  My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat.

Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide them.

I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”

And you forgave me!  All my guilt is gone.

It’s just amazing that the cross of Christ completely covers my sin.  And I know the blackness of my own heart.  Thank you, Jesus.

School Preparation . . .

. . . is just not happening right now.  Actually, right now is 1:40 on Wednesday morning and I’m sitting in my little nest with an ice pack on my head and large amounts of migraine meds going through my system, so I’m definitely not getting school stuff prepared.

I just visited a blog with lovely pictures of their school areas and I think I broke the 10th commandment (you know, the one about not coveting – although, I didn’t covet her manservant or maidservant, if she actually has those things, just her school areas).  We have a painted dining room now, which is beautiful (thank you, PWM and family!).  Our schoolroom is somewhat organized, but Rosie Girl’s desk still looks like a bomb detonation area.  Wild Man’s desk is in the sunroom and doesn’t look much better than Rosie Girl’s.

Of course, desks aren’t actually for school work around here.  Rosie Girl tends to work on the sofa or on her bed.  Wild Man  generally tries to avoid work, but if I can pin him down to do something, it’s quite often at the dining table.  School books often get lost around here because there’s an entire house (not huge, but still a whole house) where they could be.  It’s amazing how many end up under the sofa.  I think the cats put them there to mess with us.  I occasionally end up with duplicates because I buy one that’s been lost and then find the lost copy.  Bookstores love us.

I took out Wild Man’s Sonlight Core 5 paperwork today.  So far, I can’t find 5 books – books that I know that we own and don’t recall giving away.  One of them I think I wanted to skip anyway, so we’re down to just 4 that I can’t find.  I did manage to correlate the pages from the DK Geography book that we’re using instead of the Eastern Hemisphere Explorer with the correct weeks.  Of course, when I realized that he’d be doing 2 pages of the DK book instead of 10+ pages of the Eastern Hemisphere Explorer, I started to worry that he’s getting cheated out of a good education.  After a short hyper-ventilation session, I got over it.  Especially when I realized that I have two different, but overlapping grammar books to deal with.  And science.

Thankfully, Rosie Girl’s Core 200 requires very little effort from me.  I just need to put it in the notebook.  Sadly, though, the notebook is currently in the bottom of the previously mentioned bomb detonation area.  If all goes well, I’ll get the notebook right before school starts.

I told the kids I wanted them to clean their desks tomorrow.  That’s not looking promising because desk-cleaning is one of those tasks that require Mom (that’s me) to be standing right over them and reminding them to continue cleaning and not to get distracted when they take something to the trash can or the other room.  Since Mom (that’s me, remember) currently has an ice pack on my head, I doubt I’ll be up to desk-cleaning supervising.

We start school on August 30.  In a pinch, I’ll put on educational movies and throw books at the kids. 

I’d better go ask forgiveness for coveting someone else’s school room.  Then check on my stock of Imitrex.

 

P.S. You didn’t actually think that this was one of those organized and “perfect” homes like you see on the front of the homeschooling magazines, did you?  If you did, your bubble has been burst and I’m sorry – kind of.  This is our reality.  Thankfully, we have fun despite the messy house!

Emotions – They’re a Good Thing, Right?

Last night, I finished a sock I was knitting, only to realize that it’s actually the right size for a child, not the adult for whom I was knitting.  I got very angry and threw the sock across the room.  Wow.  The rush of emotions that overcame me was completely unexpected.

For one thing, I think the Topamax I had been taking had also been keeping my moods pretty even.  (Lots of anti-seizure medications can also be used as mood stabilizers.)  For another thing, I don’t believe in anger and other negative emotions.  Well, at least, I didn’t.  Yes, that’s another thing my counselor has been helping me with.

I don’t like strong negative emotions.  They lead to yelling, screaming, and throwing things – like the sock.  In my control-freakness, I tried to suppress these kinds of emotions so that I didn’t even feel them.  I “knew” that it was OK to feel anger but that we should be able to feel and express it without hurting other people.  But, I didn’t actually “know” it deep down.  So, instead of expressing anger appropriately, I suppressed it completely.

Now that the Topamax is out of my system, I get to have more practice with having strong emotions and expressing them appropriately.   BTW, I generally don’t approve of throwing things, but it was a sock and I was the only one still up.

The Bible tells us not to sin when we get angry, but allows for anger.  God got angry with Israel quite a few times.  Jesus was angry with the money-changers in the temple.  It’s OK to be angry, even with people.  And it’s OK to raise my voice if I need to get someone’s attention.

Not being a perfectionist and control-freak is a lot of work.

The Well-Planned Life versus The Summoned Life

To understand the rest of this post, you need to read this editorial (don’t worry, it’s pretty short).  Since many of you won’t go to the link, let me give you a quick sum-up: some people plan their lives and then live their plan while others make life decisions based on what is happening at the moment.  Now, don’t you want to go read the article to find out what the author really said, instead of reading my summary?!

I was living the Well-Planned Life for many years.  I went to college with the plan of going to medical school.  Then, I went to medical school.  I knew that I wanted to marry eventually, and I did (although I certainly couldn’t plan who I was going to marry very early in life since I didn’t meet him till I was in college!).  I did my Family Practice Residency and then started in a group practice.  All according to plan.

And then God turned my world upside down.  In the last five years, I’ve been completely off-plan.  I’m living something more like The Summoned Life.  I don’t have a long-term plan for too much because I really can’t make those plans.  I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow, much the less next week or next month.

Is one of these kinds of living better than the other?  I don’t think so.  I would have to say that we all fall on a continuum between the Well-Planned Life and the Summoned Life.  Control freaks like me will tend to plan everything, and it may work out well for lots of folks.  Fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kind of people will fall more on the side of The Summoned Life.

But, being too committed to one or the other can be dangerous.  A person who naturally lives The Summoned Life would still do well to have a savings account and retirement plan.  There are areas of life that they will need to be more organized about.  Those who tend to the Well-Planned Life need to have enough flexibility to change plans if that’s what God sends their way.  Illness (migraines, in my case), changes in the business landscape, or natural disasters can all send them back to the drawing board in terms of planning.

Reading this little article helped me to see that my life has changed from being largely The Well-Planned Life to The Summoned Life.  I still make plans, such as curriculum plans for the kids.  However, I’m much more flexible than I used to be.  And the flexibility shows up in more than just changing schedules because of migraines.  Allowing Wild Man to go with his Grandma across the country required some emotional flexibility on my part.  Learning ways to minister to others outside of medicine has been another thing requiring me to step outside of my plan.

It’s finding the right balance between planning and being flexible that’s the challenge for me.  I’m still tempted to try to plan to the last detail.  Yet, I’m finding joy in the spontaneity of homeschooling.  I would have to say that now I make long-term goals but short-term plans.  And those short-term plans change regularly.

For example, I have a long-term goal of teaching Wild Man to spell.  The short-term plans include my plan for his spelling curriculum and having him evaluated for vision therapy.  Rosie Girl’s high school plan is quite flexible and we change it yearly, but I make a weekly plan that she is expected to follow.

Where do you fall in this spectrum?  Is it fulfilling for you or do you wish you could move more to the other side?

Lagniappe – 8/7/2010

• I’ve stopped taking my Topamax.  My brain is feeling more clear, but the headaches are unchanged.
• I’ve started taking Butterbur for my migraines.  So far, no effect.
• Rosie Girl has dropped out of Show Choir because of a negative experience with the Choir/Drama director last week.  I can’t say I’m too upset.  Rosie Girl had a blast with Show Choir last year, but it was also very time consuming.  Now I’m not even sure she’s going to take Choir as a class.
• One of the advantages of kids being completely homeschooled (and not taking extra classes like Rosie Girl and Wild Man are doing) is that they only have to deal with two crazy adults – their parents.
• Wild Man has had his first couple of summer band lessons and is having a good time.
• I made brownies that had beet puree added to them.  They were delicious!  I still have a couple of beets in the fridge, so I might make some more brownies before the family comes on Saturday.
• Yes, my family is coming on Saturday for a week.  We’ve rented a house on a nearby lake so we can all stay together.
• PWM, Wild Man, Grandma, and I went hiking on Thursday afternoon.  The area where we hiked has lots of hills.  My legs are still mad at me!
• I still haven’t started planning the kids’ school work.  I have almost all the books, though – that’s a start!
• How many knitting projects at once is too many?  I think I currently have five going.  It is good to have more than one because I need to switch from small to large needles after a while.

That’s it right now. 

Productivity

I’ve got a very highly unpleasant migraine tonight (of course, when is a migraine pleasant?) and I’m frustrated that I can’t be as productive as I’d like.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  It’s OK that I want to get the desk cleaned up and do the laundry.  Unfortunately, I tend to go quickly past frustration about the migraine into feeling worthless because I’m not “producing”.

Why is this?  My counselor and I have had lots of conversations and prayers about this issue.  I’m making progress because each round I go with the “productivity” monster seems to be shorter and less intense than the last time.  I just wish I could “get over it” completely!!

So, back to the “why” question.  Why do I feel “lazy” if I’m not up and doing things because of pain?  Spending 22 years of my life training to become a doctor and then practicing medicine can explain part of it.  It’s been very easy for a large part of my life to get my self-worth from my academic success and then my career.  And, in medical school and residency, any sign of “weakness” was seriously frowned upon.  We’d write medical excuses for our patients to miss work so they could allow their bodies to heal, but we’d work unless we were half-dead.  Calling in sick was seriously discouraged – not necessarily by our instructors, but by our peers.  If I called in sick, it meant that someone else had to do my work.  And our workloads were plenty heavy without having to add someone else’s work to the mix.

For much of my life, I knew that I was a good person because I worked really hard.  And my M.D. was proof of that.  Then, when I quit working, I reverted to making the state of my house and even the state of my children as evidence of my worth.

It’s really just been in the last few years that I’ve faced up to the fact that God loves me because He created me, not because of what I do.  I could have said those words a long time ago, but they weren’t real to me at the time.  Having been out of medicine for four years has made me deal with this reality.  God is just not impressed by what I can do on my own.  I’ve cried over not being able to “use my gifts” or “minister” like I used to.  But, God doesn’t need me to work hard on my own.

2 Corinthians 12:7-10 records what Paul said about his own weakness:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.

God wants to use me, but in His way, not necessarily in mine.   God’s power is made perfect in my weakness.  Yes, I am weak.  I am in pain, and I can’t work because of it.  And God is completely aware of this – and, apparently, is OK with it because He hasn’t seen fit to change the situation.

My value to God is not because of what I do.  God values me just because He made me.  And Jesus died for me for the same reason.  God still wants me to serve Him.  But, He wants me to serve Him – not me – and when I’m doing things (working, cleaning house, whatever) to remind myself that I’m a good person, I’m not truly serving God with all my heart.

Yet once again, I’m back to the simple truth that I need to take my eyes off myself and put them on God.  I must reorder my priorities into His priorities.  If practicing medicine isn’t part of the plan, then that’s OK.  If God wants me to serve Him by knitting socks and praying for people, that’s just fine.  Practicing medicine is not inherently more valuable than these other activities. I want to practice medicine, but God must have another plan.  And I need to ask God what He wants, not ask myself what I want.

I can write all this stuff down, but I still have a hard time believing it.  Changing a lifetime of incorrect thinking isn’t easy.  But, I can trust the Bible.  I choose to believe that “when I am weak, then I am strong.”

And one of these days, what I feel might actually match up with what I believe.